Do you always compare yourself to others?
Majority of the times the people who we compare ourselves to are viewed as if they live the most perfect life. When you really think about it, nobody’s life is perfect, everyone is fighting their own battles but each person deals with their situation differently. Some people choose to show and speak of only the good things that are happening in their lives, while others put it all on the table. Not because it is not publicized doesn’t mean it is not happening. As a result of this, people looking in from the outside will automatically think ,wow, I wish my life was as perfect as the next individual.
Using myself as an example, a few of my friends thinks my life is perfect, as if I was born with a gold spoon in my mouth. They assume that good things are always happening to me, but that’s not the case. Never has been, never will be because this is life. Life is unfair, life is tough, and we all just have different ways of coping. I am a very private person in comparison to most of my acquaintances and I choose to display a small fraction of my life. I share my fears and my lowest moments with my immediate family and that’s about it. I don’t let people in unless I really feel the need to share what I’m going through. When you compare yourself with others you’re creating space for negativity. It is frustrating, makes you live a very miserable and bitter life and can lead to depression.
I once used to compare my life to people I knew absolutely nothing about. A couple years ago, I compared my work ethics to my college/university colleagues. Somehow, I had to study for days; even weeks just to get the grade I wanted only to find out the person sitting next to me only studied the night before the exam and received the same score as me. This didn’t sit well with me and I started to become very depressed. I’ve had many failures in my life before I could accomplish my goals and I would always think to myself, why do I always have to go through this? Why is it that, the next person just accomplished everything they wanted immediately? Fast forward to today, I am grateful for the many times I’ve failed; it made me into the strong independent women I am today. It feels good knowing I can help people who are going through the same thing I did in the past.
Lois Cory mused once said and I quote” You can’t clear your own fields while counting the rocks on your neighbor’s farm”.
Think about it: Doesn’t it take a whole lot of energy to wake up every morning just to roll over in bed, get on Instagram or any social media platform and compare your life to someone else’s? It is a waste of precious time. You could be doing something more productive like trying to improve yourself. Instead of comparing yourself, each day when you wake up try to be better than your previous self. There is so much more to life than keeping tabs on others. Stop worrying about what other people are doing and focus on you.
Worthlessness: You will always get a sense of worthlessness when comparing yourself to someone you assume has things going better for them. You as an individual determine your own destiny; you determine your own success so what’s happening in that person’s life has no impact on where you’ll be in the future.
These are a few results you’ll get from comparing yourself….
- Development of self-doubt- You’ll start doubting your ability and feeling like you’re not good enough. You’ll feel like your life couldn’t be any worse.
- Competition- You’ll start competing with the next person. You’ll keep score on everything they are doing and try to do it better and when you fail, eventually it will lead to frustration and envy.
- Lose control over your own life- When you constantly compete and try to be like or be better than someone; they have gained complete control over your life. You gave them that power without them having to ask for it.
- Depression- When all fails you’ll become depressed because no matter how hard you try, you’ll never have the same life as anyone. Everyone wakes up to a different environment each day, with a different goal set in place. So if you’re in competition with someone with the intention of getting on the same level you’re setting yourself up to fail because you don’t know that persons next move. You just have to learn to accept your condition then try to improve it.